Bella is not Great
“How Twilight Poisons Everything”
“How Twilight Poisons Everything”
In recent years, the romanticizing of vampires has come to a head, and I can’t think of any other phenomenon to illustrate this than Twilight. It seems vampires have lost their roots to such a level that one would not be able to define what was previously a cursed hell-beast. If the name “Bela” is said around a teenager today, the thought pattern would immediately go to Bella Swan, and most certainly not Bela Lugosi. And this could not make me sicker.
Film vampires started with the bat-like, physically grotesque Count Orlok played by the incomparable Max Schreck in the film classic Nasferatu (1922). Soon, the part of Count Dracula would go to the physically unappealing, yet somewhat seductive Hungarian fingers of Bela Lugosi in Dracula (1951). Then came the tall, slender, taffeta-laden sex appeal of Sir Christopher Lee in Hammer Films’ Dracula (1958). Seemingly by the 1980s, the initial blood-hungry hell beast had been forgotten, only to make way for the romantic sexuality of the immortal Nasferatu species. Anne Rice had begun her series of handsome, romance novel-like heroes such as the vampire Lestat, later portrayed in film by the adonic good looks and brooding sex appeal of Tom Cruise (Interview with the Vampire) and Stewart Townsend (Queen of the Damned). And among her other vampires portrayed in film by Hollywood heartthrobs such as Christian Slater and Brad Pitt (Interview with the Vampire).
By the 1990s, vampires had entered the teen realm, replacing their issues of immortality and domination with basic and trivial teen problems, such as who to take to the prom and with whom to go steady. Some even went as far to question the morality of their curse, in their need to hunt pray for survival. They had been split into groups between the popular, wealthy, good looking, artistic and aristocratic Malkavian and Toreador breeds, and the sewer-dwelling, rat-like and deformed Nasferatu in games such as the popular RPG Vampire: The Masquerade. Even outside of the teen realm, vampires seemed to be surrounded by the same adolescent human issues, namely in films like Wes Craven’s cinematic abortion Dracula 2000.
There seemed to be hope, however, with Francis Ford Coppola’s screen adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, wherein Gary Oldman and Sir Anthony Hopkins brilliantly portrayed Count Dracula and his nemesis, Professor Abraham Van Helsing. And even despite some rather questionable casting for the rest of the movie, it seemed as though the serious vampire had returned. However, this back-to-the-basics vampire was very short lived. Most other movies which portrayed vampires as the desperate, animal-like beasts that they are, were campy and often unintentionally funny films like John Carpenter’s Vampires, Tales from the Hood, Blade, Underworld, and whatever that Snoop Dogg vampire movie was.
It seemed all was lost and it couldn’t get any worse. That is until Mormon author, Stephenie Meyer began her teen series called Twilight. Twilight was not just a leap in the romantic evolution of vampires, but a religiously fueled lapse in a rather unfortunate progression. These vampires didn’t drink human blood, these vampires sparkled in the sunlight, in lieu of bursting into flames, these vampires played baseball in the park with their family. In fact, I can barely compare Stephenie Meyer’s vampires with their Victorian, over-romanticized predecessors, as these vampires don’t have sex until marriage. But while they no longer sucked blood, one thing was clear, they sucked something.
Could it get any worse? Yes it did. It was announced that the Twilight series would now be a movie series, and with the Hollywood marketing machine behind it, was sure to be a success. Suddenly, the new and improved Latter Day vampires were to be seen all over from Hot Topic to Barnes & Noble. The Twilight logo were to be found on the backpacks and lunchboxes of every teen in America, and even the shower curtains and laptops of many adults. Grown men and women argued over who was in the right and what team to join; Team Edward or Team Jacob.
Had the religious right rewritten Bram Stoker’s original classic novel to a formula more adapted to romance novels without sex? Seemingly, yes, with their family friendly overtones, religious undertones, abstinence-only undead education, as well as their desire to oppress and obliterate their American Indian lycanthrope enemies. And it was no little surprise when I learned that Stephenie Meyer donates 10% of her income from the books, movies and merchandise to the Mormon Church, a church that has led the fight to make miscarriages illegal, to keep same-sex-marriage a criminal act, and that still practices firing squad executions. It’s really no wonder in the end that she would pit the new, wholesome Nasferatu against the American Indian people. The Church of Latter Day Saints believes American Indians to be part of the lost tribe of Israel who defied God, and thus were cursed with red skin.
Not only had vampires lost their entire identity, but they had been transformed into a creature that even ABC would find too wholesome, but also with bigoted religious undertones that even Fox News or TBN would find unfit for teenagers. And as it turns out, I was right about that second part, but certainly not for the reason I had previously thought.
Probe Ministries “writer” Susan Bohlin has come out against the Twilight saga, referring to them as dark and demonic. Here I am going on about how the undead have been raped of their identity and robbed of their dignity, and religious groups are referring to them as too evil for the eyes of teens, their intended demographic.
Bohlin writes, “The Twilight saga is a publishing and movie phenomenon that sweeps tween and teen girls (and a whole lot of other people) off their feet with an obsessive kind of following. Millions of Christian girls are huge fans of this series about love between a teenage girl and her vampire boyfriend-then-husband. But it’s not just a love story made exciting by the danger of vampires’ blood-lust. I believe the Twilight saga, all four books and their corresponding movies, is spiritually dangerous. I believe there is a demonic origin to the series, and the occult themes that permeate the books are a dangerous open door to Satan and his hordes of unholy angels.”
Well, is anyone surprised that someone appeared to a Mormon in a dream and caused that person to write a fictional book? It’s certainly not the first time, is it? But in many ways, what she said in this article is what I’ve said so far in this one. However, from a very different perspective, of course. But the main difference is that I think it’s a disgrace that vampires have become wholesome, while she doesn’t think they’re wholesome enough. My question to Bohlin would be, “Just how wholesome do you need them to be?”
In the end, am I willing to accept that the shadow walking blood beast is dead? Am I willing to accept that the vampire is now being used to peddle right-wing, religion ideology to children like a pixie stick filled with cocaine? Am I to stand by and watch the only remains of the traditional vampire be relegated to late night cable backwaters and straight to DVD films to make way for these new magical underwear dawning, sinless, bloodless teddy bears? Must I continue to watch the new generation of horror enthusiasts remain ignorant of Bela Lugosi only to make way for Bella Swan? Absolutely not! But what can one do other than speak his/her mind and open the eyes of others to the Twilight fallacy?
And what horror icons are next on the attack list? Was Cursed the predecessor to Stephenie Meyer’s future destruction of the werewolf? Are George Romero and Lucio Fulci next on the list to witness the monsters they popularized turned into sleepy New Englanders who talk to Native Americans in their sleep and read testaments out of a hat? Will Frankenstein hopelessly fall in love with the awkward new girl, only to fight for her love with Jason, Freddie or Predator? Will the Crimson Ghost return to war against the Deadites in a bloodless war over the love of the Bride of Frankenstein? I guess, that’s up to you. Please, preserve the classics and help not to dilute them by not purchasing a ticket to the next Twilight Film, or a copy of the next Twilight DVD. For the love of classic horror, please?
